Nine Steps toward Getting Unstuck

Why are we stuck?  What keeps us stuck?  How can we get unstuck?  Follow these nine steps.

Step 1) Understand what’s not working.

Three ineffective roles populate the world:  Prosecutor, Victim, and Rescuer.  The Prosecutors are the tough manager, the strict teacher, the overbearing parent, and actually just convincing people to avoid them.  Victims look at Prosecutors as the problem, but that means the Victims’ behavior is always off the hook, not responsible for anything, and thus unable to change it.   Rescuers at first seem great, but afterwards, when life isn’t perfect, the Victims turn on the Rescuers for “not rescuing good enough.”  Victims become Prosecutors.

So recognize two points:  (a) we can’t control Others, and (b) acknowledge that our current approach isn’t working.  People will endlessly defend what isn’t working, but something has to change—and that’s us.

Step 2) We need help.

OUR way got us where we are now, and will keep us here.  We need others:  more resources, more ideas, people who aren’t stuck where we are, because they don’t have the mindset keeping us stuck.   As we become stronger, as we reach more advanced levels, this is all the more important, because we’re on new ground, and need the help of people who have been where we’re going.

Step 3) Find a spiritual center.

This can be, but doesn’t not have to be religious or traditional.  Forget about disbeliefs—these are irrelevant.  What are the actual beliefs, however minimal—Tao, nature, energy, what?  These can be very small, but whatever those beliefs, we need that focus.  Construct a daily spiritual practice around this.  Perhaps morning reading, evening meditation, or a quiet cup of tea with a favorite tree, but the power is in daily practice.  It will build in ways unimaginable until experienced.  We need this daily touchstone to move forward—whatever happens, we start fresh again from this deep truth we defined.

4) Take a Personal Examination.

Where are we, and what do we want?  Most people don’t get what they want because they don’t know what it is.  Create a dissonance between the reality of where we are and where we want to be.  Don’t blame others for the status quo.  To reclaim power, reclaim self—all of it.  This is NOT a pain free process, but an essential one.

Where are we pointing fingers?   At whom?  What’s the problem?  What does this threaten for us – lots of things are problems that don’t bother us, so why is this one standing out?  What’s our part in it, even if just 5%—this the beginning of power.   We can’t use what power we don’t have, so 5% is stronger than the 95% we lack.  What’s good about this situation, even if only a little—gratitude is also power.  How is this other person suffering (hurt people hurt people)?  Be patient with people struggling through their own “stuff.”  Wish them well – that’s for US, not them, as it separates us from the stuck situation.

Step 5) Where are there weak spots?

Weak spots are not bad—they just need healing and strengthening.  Just identify them.   Then become willing to work on them.  Ask for help, from others and from that spiritual center, that touchstone of truth.

Step 6) Fix our side of problems.

Where have we, even in misunderstanding, harmed others?  Make it right—for OURSELVES, not them…or this will keep us stuck.  Do this with someone else to remain accountable and personally honest.  This is not “I’m sorry,” but making these situations right (where possible or realistic).   Get ourselves clean and free.

Step 7) Continue self-examination, and simplify.

Simplifying allows the flow of “luck.”   We become responsive, aware.  Judgments are attachments—cut them off.  As Don Miguel Ruiz advises—“don’t make assumptions, don’t take anything personal, be impeccable with your word, and always do your best.”   Keep things simple.  Without the clutter, the “luck” falls into place.

Step 8) Continue to develop the connection to the spiritual center.

Greg Reid, author of “Three Feet from Gold,” interviewed hundreds of successful people, all of whom asked “How may I serve you?”   Develop a habit of humility and service, asking for help regularly.   Keep seeking the inner self vs. mental-ego-dominance.

Step 9) Freely share.

Getting unstuck is not about ego, but love and compassion. Sharing and serving keeps things green and relevant for ourselves.  Like streams, water needs to continually flow both in and out, or we become flooded or stagnant—and back to stuck.

We’re going to talk about this a lot more starting Oct. 20, including practical, actionable steps toward demonstrable results.   I hope you’ll join us — and tell your friends and associates.  They can register here free for this teleseminar and the rest at  You can easily share this on Facebook and more by clicking the share buttons.  Here’s the lineup:

Oct. 20 — Living Abundance (and why this isn’t simply money)
Oct. 22 — Emotional Challenges and Fear
Oct. 24 — Stress, Overwhelm and Uncertainty
Oct. 27 — Finding Peace, Spiritual Growth, and Living this daily in the “Real World”
Oct. 29 — Getting Unstuck and Manifesting your Dreams and Desires
Oct. 31 — If Healing isn’t Magic, Where do I get the Miracle?  The Kwan Yin Path


Kwan Yin Healing